Finding out that your child has been diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder may be a very difficult experience, but in the face of this news, it is important to remind yourself that despite the difficulties and delays that may be characteristic of the disorder, people with ASD often have many strengths and characteristics that make them unique in a really great way. According to Stephen Short (2010), some of the strengths that a person with ASD might have include the following:
- Good attention to detail
- Often highly skilled in a particular area
- Deep interest and study of particular topics resulting in having a wealth of knowledge in this area
- Tendency to be logical instead of allowing emotions to influence decision-making
- Less concern over what other people may think of them
- Good visual processing abilities
- Often very verbal
- Direct communication
- Loyalty
- Honesty
- Nonjudgmental listening
- Average to above average intelligence
Given this long list of strengths that a person with ASD might have, it does not come as a surprise then that many people with ASD develop into leading very successful lives.
While ASD did not become a formal diagnosis until the 1940s, it has been suspected that notable people in history including Albert Einstein, Amadeus Mozart, Sir Isaac Newton, Charles Darwin, Thomas Jefferson, and Michelangelo may all have had ASD. More recently, several celebrities such as Dan Aykroyd, Matt Savage, and James Durbin have come out to say that they also have ASD. In terms of their individual strengths that led to their success, Dan Aykroyd reported that it was his deep interest in ghosts that led to his creation of the very popular movie, Ghost Busters. Matt Savage’s savant skills in the area of reading piano music led to his becoming a very accomplished pianist – performing for several heads of states and appearing on numerous television and radio programs. James Durbin’s hyper-focus on music led to his being a contestant on American Idol and a successful music career.
The most well-known and accomplished figure with ASD is Dr. Temple Grandin who currently works as a Professor of Animal Science at Colorado State University. Dr. Grandin encountered many of the difficulties and deficits that are characteristic of ASD such as delayed and repetitive speech, a hypersensitivity to noise and other sensory stimuli, and an inability to relate to others on an emotional level, but her strengths in the area of visual thinking led to a successful career as a livestock-handling equipment designer. Dr. Grandin is a proponent on focusing on the strengths of a person with ASD instead of their weaknesses, and has proposed that there are three types of specialized thinking that a person with ASD might have: 1) visual thinkers; 2) music and math thinkers; and 3) verbal logic thinkers. With specialized skills in one or several of these areas, a person with ASD that is encouraged to capitalize on their strengths and taught in ways that appeal to their thinking patterns, may become a very successful individual who is capable of doing things that even you and I might not be able to do.
As you can see, a person with ASD has many strengths that if capitalized upon may lead to their leading a very successful life. So, if you suspect that your child may have ASD or if your child has recently been diagnosed, try to identify the strengths that make your child unique, as this will be their lifeline to success.
Gender Dysphoria (formerly known as Gender Identity Disorder) has received a substantial amount of media attention recently, with the very public gender transformation of Caitlyn Jenner and award winning shows such as Transparent. Fortunately, public awareness of gender dysphoria has opened the door to increased societal acceptance and understanding for individuals with a variety of gender identities. Despite improvements in the awareness and acceptance of gender issues, children and adolescents who present with gender dysphoria often feel confused and ashamed. Parents and family members may also experience confusion about their child’s gender dysphoria and feel unsure about how to respond. The following is meant as a starting guide for families who are beginning to navigate gender related issues with their child.
First, it’s important to understand the difference between the terms sex and gender. Sex is a term that describes the anatomy of a person’s reproductive system, genetic makeup, and secondary sexual characteristics. Sex is typically assigned at birth based on a child’s anatomy and is usually male or female (although it is important to note that sex also exists on a spectrum and some individuals are born with intersex conditions). Gender is a more complicated term to define because it is more fluid then sex. Gender refers to the way in which a given society defines the attitudes, feelings, and behaviors of men vs. women. Individuals who are cisgender identify with a gender that aligns with the sex they were assigned at birth whereas individuals that are transgender identify with a gender identity that differs from their assigned sex (e.g., a person who identities as female but was born with male sexual characteristics). Gender dysphoria, which is a diagnostic code in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-V) is a term used to describe individuals who experience distress or impairment due to their persistent identification with a gender that differs from the gender others would assign him or her. Individuals with gender dysphoria have a strong desire to be treated as the other gender and in some cases to be rid of their born sexual characteristics. Gender is best thought of as on a spectrum as there is increasing awareness of various gender identities that fall outside traditional male or female identities (e.g., bigender, agender, genderqueer). Finally, sexuality and gender are separate constructs and it is important to know that an individual’s gender identity does not determine their sexual identity. For example, a person who identifies as female but was born male may be attracted to women, men, or both.
A normal part of childhood and adolescence is to experiment with different identities and interests. Thus, it is normal for children to sometimes behave in ways that do not conform to societies’ gender roles (e.g., for a male child to dress up as a princess). A small portion of children, however, are very persistent in their identification with a gender opposite or different from their assigned gender. It is important to know that some children, adolescents, and adults who identify with a gender that is different from the one they were assigned at birth do not experience distress and therefore do not have gender dysphoria. However, psychological distress, such as anxiety or depression is often common in children with gender identity questions and in these cases the diagnosis of gender dysphoria is warranted. Children and adolescents with gender dysphoria may benefit from a gender evaluation and psychotherapy or psychiatry services. Some children and adolescents with gender dysphoria choose to socially transition or to pursue medical interventions (e.g., puberty suppressors, cross-hormone therapy, and genital surgery) consistent with their identified gender. In these cases, professional psychotherapy or psychiatry services can provide support for individuals as they move through the transition process and can assist individuals in making informed decisions that are right for them.
Sadly, individuals who experience gender dysphoria are often times marginalized from peers and even their families; in these cases, the risk for psychiatric problems and even suicide dramatically increases. Thus, family acceptance and support can be critically important in the long term outcomes of children with gender dysphoria. Often family therapy or supportive therapy for parents and family members can assist families in learning how to best support their child.
For all the parents out there who are struggling to manage their children’s tantrums, this one is for you! Put yourself in your child’s shoes… there is A LOT to learn. Different environments have different routines, behavioral expectations and rules. Managing all of these things is an ongoing learning process, and it is not surprising at all that it does not always go super smoothly. So next time you are in the supermarket and your child is in the midst of a meltdown – here are some tips to get you through it.
- All behavior has a purpose – sometimes in the moment it can feel like tantrums occur out of nowhere, but there is always a reason. As a parent, you are in the best position to be a “behavior investigator”. In order to be proactive, and prevent future tantrums (i.e., decrease the frequency of the behavior), you will need to take a really deep breath and think hard about what was happening right before the tantrum started. Basically, it is your job to figure out the why (function) of the behavior. Some considerations:
- Did you ask your child to do something that is hard or unenjoyable right before the tantrum started (think about all those homework related behavioral issues)
- Did you ask your child to move from a fun activity to a less fun activity (transition between watching TV and eating dinner)
- Did you tell your child he/she could not have something they wanted (cookie at a supermarket)
- Figured out why the tantrum is occurring? Great, now it’s time to stay strong!
- If you have already told your child that he or she cannot have a cookie, you need to try your best and follow through with that decision
- If your child engages in a seemingly never ending tantrum and then you agree to let them have a cookie, you are almost guaranteeing the future occurrence of tantrum behavior. Think about it from your child’s perspective: if crying worked for me this time, why wouldn’t it work again?
- Try to stay in the moment and remember that you are doing the best thing for your child
- It is a fact that when your child tantrums in public, there will be people who offer unsolicited suggestions. Remember, you know what you’re doing. Stick with it!
- Try your best to remember that because all behavior means something, the way you are dealing with it is a way of teaching your child about limits, rules, and eventually the appropriate way to get what he or she wants
- Tempted to give in? Think long term
- Remember the cookie in the supermarket? Giving in would have solved the whole tantrum, right? Giving in may solve problems short term; however, remember that all tantrums are learning experiences so ask yourself the question: what did I just teach my child?
- How you handle this tantrum not only teaches your child a valuable lesson about rules and expectations, it sets the stage for how you are going to solve these behavioral issues long term
Once the tantrum is over, the real work begins. Now it is time to figure out the best way to prevent another tantrum from occurring. Let’s continue with the example of the cookie in the supermarket. Maybe before the next supermarket trip, you sit with your child and go over your expectations for that trip (hold mommy’s hand, have a quiet voice, etc.). Depending on your child’s age, you may even give them some small jobs that will help keep them engaged during the shopping trip (find the carrots, apples, etc.). Be clear with your child: if they follow all the rules, then they can have access to something they really want (maybe it’s a special toy at home, or a special treat after dinner). Just make sure you make your expectations clear.
The last thing to remember is no one is perfect all the time. Tantrums can become overwhelming. Giving in does not do permanent damage, and it certainly does not mean you are a bad parent. All experiences are learning experiences, and you can use that information to make a better plan for next time. It’s all part of the process!
In the last several decades awareness and acceptance of mental health issues has greatly improved. Efforts to decrease stigma around mental health has allowed for the millions of children, adolescents, and adults struggling with mental health problems to seek support and access treatment. Although understanding and tolerance related to mental health issues has served to reduce public stigma of individuals with mental illness, misinformation related to mental health continues to be a problem. Below are 9 mental health statistics everyone should know:
- Mental health problems are very common. Around 20% of children, adolescents, and adults have experienced a mental health issue. Mood disorders, such as depression, dysthymic disorder, and bipolar disorder are the most prevalent disorders in the U.S., with approximately 10% of all adults suffering from one of these disorders over the course of a year.
- Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in adults and the 2nd leading cause of death in 15-29 year olds across the globe. Mental health issues are a leading cause for suicide, since almost 90% of individuals who complete suicide have a diagnosed mental illness.
- Although mental health problems are often not identified until adulthood, 50% of mental health problems begin before age 14 and 75% begin before the age of 24. Early assessment and treatment of mental health problems can significantly change the course of a mental illness and individuals who seek help early have better outcomes later in life.
- Mental health affects women and men differently. For example, depression is almost twice as common in women than men; however, substance abuse is almost twice as common in men than women. Severe mental disorders, such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorders affect men and women about equally.
- Mental health problems affect individuals of all ages, cultural backgrounds, and socioeconomic status; however, children and adults living in poverty have a higher risk of mental illness. Individuals from lower socioeconomic status are also often less able to access appropriate treatment for mental health problems.
- Unfortunately, most adults (60%) and 50% of children with mental health issues do not receive mental health services. The cost of untreated mental illness is staggering—estimates suggest that serious mental illness costs America $193.2 billion each year. Treatment of mental health problems helps to offset this cost by assisting individuals with mental illness to reenter the workforce, decrease absenteeism, or increase productivity.
- Stigma around mental health issues has helped to spread the myth that people with mental health problems are violent and unpredictable. The truth is that the vast majority of individuals with mental health problems have the same likelihood of committing violent acts as anyone else. In fact, people with severe mental illness are 10 times more likely than people without mental illness to be the victims of violent crime than people in the general population.
- Although dramatic cultural shifts have occurred in our acceptance of mental health problems, significant stigma continues to exist. Nine out of ten people with a mental health problem report experiencing stigma. Stigma can serve to worsen mental health problems and prevent individuals from seeking treatment.
- People with mental health problems can get better and even recover completely if they receive appropriate treatment. Support from friends and family can often be a crucial factor in linking individuals with mental illness to treatment.
For a parent, having a young child that does not listen or throws tantrums is often written off as normal “toddler” behavior that they believe their child will outgrow. Then that child turns into a pre-teen who becomes aggressive, defiant and has frequent outbursts – also often thought to be normal “teen” behavior. But before your child even hits the toddler years there are usually signs that may signal something more critical is going on and that these behaviors are not as normal as they may seem.
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) is not something that many parents consider when they are dealing with some of these challenging issues with their children because they do not know it exists. Manhattan Psychology Group has created this infographic about ODD to help bring awareness to parents who may be having a hard time with their defiant toddler or teen. We hope that by brining awareness to Oppositional Defiant Disorder and its symptoms and treatments we can encourage parents to get a professional evaluation and ultimately get the help they need to improve their child’s behaviors as well as create a better parent/child relationship.
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It is approaching noon and you have not yet seen your adolescent daughter come out of her room on a Saturday. Or your teenage boy is still not getting out of bed after his alarm is blaring on a school morning. If you are a parent, does either of these sound familiar to you? If so, you are not alone! These are two scenarios that are fairly common in a home that has a teenager. Why? Teenagers and sleep have a complicated relationship…
The National Sleep Foundation (NSF) emphasizes that for teenagers there are social and biological factors that impact their sleep. Adolescence is a period of growth and change. Not only are they physically changing but research shows that the patterns in their sleep / wake cycles change too. The UCLA Sleep Disorders Center highlights on their website “the average teen needs about nine hours of sleep.” Most teens are not getting that on a consistent basis. Most don’t realize or know that is recommended; they are either sleeping too much or too little.
With evenings filled with social and academic demands combined with biological changes no wonder a teen has poor sleep patterns. However, parents can help their son or daughter improve their sleep and understand why it is important to do so. Many times teens’ understanding of proper sleep hygiene and the importance of sleep is absent. Education and support will go a long way.
The first step is to educate and role model that sleep is as important as food and water. Second, explain what constitutes healthy habits around sleep. The following can be used as a guideline:
- Make their bedroom serene, dark and quiet
- Move out of the bedroom when not sleeping
- Try and resist naps, however if naps occur keep them short
- Keep to a routine – go to bed and wake up at similar times
Lack of sleep can have serious consequences. Parents need to pay attention to signs that a teen may not be getting enough sleep. However, it is just as important for parents to educate themselves and their children about these following signs and consequences:
- Increased learning, focus, and attention difficulties
- Poor grades
- Altered decision making skills
- Mood changes – increase irritability or depression
- Increased chance for high risk behaviors such as hasty driving or substance use
- Changes in appearance
- Decline in physical health
Overall, teens need sleep but too much or too little impacts overall functioning a great deal. Teenagers that become aware of how their lives will be altered by poor sleep and those that learn to recognize that they are actually experiencing trouble will be more likely to make a change. A psychologist can assist a teen with altering their sleep patterns with behavioral interventions.
Technology is not just a piece of hardware or software, but rather a link to individuals all over the world. We live in a society driven by social networking and status, with access to applications and other sites right at our finger tips.
Society has reached a point in time where location is insignificant and the only thing that really matters is whether a cell phone/ device has internet connection. While technology is attached to our daily lives in a positive way, it has also changed the dynamic of many social interactions.
Today, teenagers can’t seem to get away from their cell phones. Whether sitting at the dinner table or hanging out with friends, a conversation either, 1. doesn’t take place or 2. is revolved around some type of social networking site.
In an article written by Kelly Wallace, she discussed several ways parents have managed to break their child’s habitual pattern of constantly being on their cell phones.
Examples from parents:
- Melissa ( has a 13 year old daughter) pays an extra $5 a month for a special program that allows her to shut off her daughter’s phone from 9 p.m. to 7 a.m.
- Robinson (has a 17 year old daughter) cut off the Internet on her daughter’s phone once she reached her maximum data allotment.
- Love (has a 13 year old son) created a “Be Present Box.” Three simple directions while at the dinner table: 1. Insert phone 2. Close lid 3. Be present
Other ways to stop the addiction:
- “No Phone” zones. Designate areas in the household that forbid cellphone use.
- Silence during meals. Encourage your teen to silence, turn off, or leave their cell phone in an entirely different room.
- Allot a certain time of day to allow access to social media or text. Create a rule that allows access at specific times.
- Parental Control. Monitor their activity.
Reference: “How to cut your kids’ cell phone addiction” By Kelly Wallace, CNN
Executive Functions are skills that help us stay organized and act on information.
There are many different processes that fall under the Executive Functions umbrella. Some of which include your working memory, time management, flexibility, prioritizing and problem solving as well as planning and the execution of a task.
Children with executive functioning skills delay have the ability to develop these specific skills with the help of educational programs and scaffolding support. Adults involved in the child’s life can help the growth of these skills. Ways in which an adult can enable the development of these skills is by establishing routines, modeling appropriate social-emotional behavior, and exercising the importance of time management.
Many children that lack executive functioning skills are facing the challenges of the loss of their administrative control, however, each unique in their own respect.
There are 8 different skills of Executive Functioning:
| Skill | What it means |
| 1. Impulse Control | Think before acting |
| 2. Emotional Control | Keep feelings in check |
| 3. Flexible thinking | Adjust to the unexpected |
| 4. Working Memory | Keep information in mind |
| 5. Self-monitoring | Self-check/ evaluate yourself |
| 6. Prioritizing | Decide on a goal and plan to meet it |
| 7. Task Initiation | Get started on your task |
| 8. Organization | Keep track of things mentally and physically |
(https://www.understood.org)
The basis of their EF development stems from organization. This can have an effect on their ability to plan and initiate a task, inability to plan ahead, and difficulty processing or retrieving information. One way in which you can assist a child that experiences these challenges is by utilizing a calendar/schedule. By modulating their time, you will be setting them up for success.
The following is an example of a study schedule that was created for a child that had difficulties prioritizing a task, organizing work and self-regulating their time:
Inequalities Exam
Tuesday, December 2015
| Thursday 3rd | Friday 4th | Saturday 5th | Sunday 6th | Monday 7th |
| Compound Inequalities | Translating words and multi-step equations
Converting Graphs to inequality Statements |
Inequality Word Problems
Word Problems Day 2 and start of Linear Inequalities |
solving and graphing inequalities
|
Writing a linear inequality from a graph
linear inequalities on coordinate plane |
Your teen used to be a happy kid, used to spend a lot of time with you and their friends, and used to play sports. Lately, however, they have been irritable, kind of withdrawn and have not been to basketball practice in over a month. You wonder, what happened to my happy child? You wonder, is my child depressed or are they just going through a rough time? – but how do you know? And what can you do as a parent?
What’s typical?
- Adolescence is a difficult transition and teens can experience “growing pains”
- Occasional bad moods or acting out are normal
- Some parental conflict is to be expected as they start to assert their independence
- Feeling sad or down are natural emotions and they can be reactions to daily stressors. Most people deal and get past these feelings within a few days.
Depression, however, is more than occasional sadness or feeling down. One in five teenagers has experienced depression at some point. It is a strong mood that lasts for weeks, months, or even longer. Depression also affects one’s energy level, motivation, and concentration, and subsequently interferes with their ability to function on a daily basis.
Symptoms of depression
- Persistent sadness or hopelessness
- Irritability, anger, hostility
- Tearfulness or frequent crying
- Withdrawal from friends and family
- Loss of interest in activities
- Changes in eating habits
- Restlessness and agitation
- Feelings of worthlessness and guilt
- Lack of motivation
- Difficulty concentrating
- Fatigue or lack of energy
- Negative/pessimistic thinking
- Insomnia or oversleeping
Some other signs to look out for:
- Problems at school due to low energy and concentration difficulties
- Drug and alcohol abuse – as a form of self-medication
- Low self esteem – feelings of ugliness, shame, failure, and unworthiness
- Increased use of the internet in order to escape problems, but causes further isolation
- Engagement in reckless behavior
- Self-harming behaviors
Teens don’t always show typical symptoms of depression such as sadness or withdrawal. For some, irritability, aggression, and rage are the main symptoms. Unexplained aches and pains, physical ailments such as headaches and stomachaches are also common as is extreme sensitivity to criticism, and changes in socialization.
Some things to consider: how long the symptoms have been present, how severe they are, and how different your child is acting compared to their typical self. Typically when teenagers withdraw or stop doing things they used to enjoy can be a sign that something is wrong. Dramatic changes in personality, mood, or behavior and/or changes in academic performance are all red flags for a more severe problem that requires immediate attention.
Tips on how to talk to your teen:
- Offer support
- Be gentle and persistent
- Listen and don’t criticize
- Validate feelings
Treatment
- Cognitive behavioral therapy is the most common treatment for adolescent depression. Through CBT, adolescents are taught to challenge their negative thoughts that are common in individuals with depression and learn how to cope with their depression
- If depression is severe, treatment may involve a combination of individual therapy as well as medications such as antidepressants
If you are concerned your adolescent may be suffering from depression, talk to your health care provider and make an appointment to see a mental health professional. Speak to your provider or call a suicide hotline if you are worried that your child is experiencing suicidal thoughts. Call 911 immediately if you feel that your child is in imminent danger.
It is common for parents to allow their children to sleep in their bed from time to time. However, for some parents occasionally allowing their child to spend the night in their beds can quickly morph into a problematic and chronic co-sleeping situation. Co-sleeping with older children can be especially detrimental as it can create stress for the entire family, lead to poor sleep patterns for both parents and children, and inhibit the ability of children to develop independence. Co-sleeping also negatively affects a child’s social development since the child is inhibited from functioning normally with peers. For example, the child may be unable to attend or host a sleep-over, join over-night school trips, and go to sleep away camp.
Frequently, parents report that they allow their older child to sleep with them because the child is anxious and unable to sleep alone in their own bed. Anxious parents may also find it difficult to set limits with their child and thus allow the child to continue sleeping in their bed, even once they have recognized that the pattern is problematic. It is important for parents to know that responding to a child’s anxiety to sleep in their own bed by allowing them to sleep with a parent only exacerbates a child’s fear of sleeping alone. Thus, rather than having to learn how to self-soothe and manage his or her own fears, the child has only learned how to escape from the fear of sleeping in their own bed. Other reasons parents may allow a child to co-sleep include marital difficulties or a recent divorce or transition in the family. Unfortunately, co-sleeping usually worsens marital difficulties and can often make it more difficult for a child to adjust to transitions in the family. Thus, although co-sleeping can be a tempting “Band-Aid” to use when trying to manage childhood anxiety, sleeping problems, or family transitions, it will usually only worsen the problem and create more along the way.
Severe chronic co-sleeping situations will often times require professional help, especially if your child is very anxious of sleeping alone in his bed. Thus, consider if you should contact a mental health professional to assist you in alleviating a chronic co-sleeping issue. The following steps can also be taken by parents who have committed to breaking the co-sleeping cycle:
- Create a strict bedtime routine that ends with the child sleeping in their bed every night.
- Decide to begin implementing the bedtime routine and stick to it even though the child will resist.
- Explain the purpose of the new bedtime routine with your child and validate that your child may feel worried about the upcoming change, while at the same time assuring your child that you are confident they will be able to get used to the new routine.
- Identify self-soothing strategies for your child (for example, listening to music, taking deep breaths) that can assist your child in managing his or her anxieties once you have left their room.
- Stay consistent! Remind yourself that even though your child will protest, you are doing what is best for your child. By teaching your child to sleep alone, you are inspiring confidence in their ability to manage their own anxieties and you are assisting them in achieving developmentally appropriate milestones.
