The return to school can stir up worry for many kids. New classrooms, changing routines, and social pressures can trigger school anxiety, separation anxiety, and even school refusal. The goal is to help your child feel steady, supported, and ready. Use this therapist-built checklist to reduce stress and help your child feel more in control as the school year begins.
If you want guidance tailored to your child, our team serves families across Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, and surrounding areas. Reach out to schedule with one of our clinicians.
1) Reset routines weeks before school starts
Start small, then build.
- Shift bedtime and wake times 10–15 minutes earlier each day in the weeks before school starts.
- Rehearse the morning routine. Dress, pack, and leave the apartment at practice time.
- Front-load regulation. Include movement, water, and eating breakfast with protein.
Tip: Preview the commute. A quick dry run can cut first-day jitters.
2) Name the worry and normalize it
Kids need language for feeling anxious.
- Use simple scripts: “Lots of kids feel nervous before the school season.”
- Teach a calm breathing drill your child can do anywhere.
- Pair feelings with a plan: “When I notice my stomach flip, I press my feet to the floor and take three slow breaths.”
If anxiety persists or escalates, our mental health professionals can help. We see families in Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, and nearby neighborhoods.
3) Practice goodbyes to reduce separation anxiety
Predictable rituals lower stress at drop-off.
- Create a short goodbye routine. Hug, mantra, go.
- Use a transitional object for younger kids, like a small token.
- Avoid long, uncertain exits. Consistency reduces separation anxiety and lowers the risk of school refusal.
For toddlers and preschoolers, PCIT strategies can strengthen cooperation and soothe transitions. Ask about in-person and telehealth options in NYC.
4) Build a support team at school
Open communication makes a difference.
- Email the teacher before the first day with two strengths and two triggers.
- Introduce your child to the school nurse, counselor, or dean. Identify a safe space for quick reset breaks.
- Share any coping plans so staff can model and prompt them.
If your child has struggled with avoiding school in the past, set up a morning check-in routine with a trusted adult for the first two weeks.
5) Create a simple coping toolkit
Keep tools accessible and teach when to use them.
- Breathing card with steps.
- Fidget that is quiet and teacher-approved.
- A grounding list: five things I can see, four I can touch, three I can hear.
- A small snack and water bottle to steady energy.
Practice after dinner, not just in the moment of stress.
6) Use exposure, not escape
Avoid the trap of rescue routines that accidentally reward staying home.
- If your child is feeling anxious, break down the school demand into small steps. Get dressed. Walk to school. Step inside, even briefly.
- Praise effort over outcome. “You walked in even though it was hard. That is brave.”
If morning battles are taking over, our clinicians can coach you through graded exposure. We offer sessions across Manhattan, Queens, and nearby communities.
7) Tighten sleep and screen habits
Sleep supports emotion regulation and attention.
- Set screens to off one hour before bedtime.
- Keep wake time consistent, even on weekends.
- Pair bedtime with a short, predictable routine. Read, stretch, lights out.
Poor sleep can mimic anxiety and depression symptoms and intensify school anxiety. Address sleep first, then reassess.
8) Fuel the brain
Blood sugar dips can look like worry or irritability.
- Prioritize eating breakfast with protein and complex carbs.
- Pack snacks that sustain energy.
- Hydration matters.
If your appetite is low in the morning, try portable options like yogurt drinks or egg bites.
9) Plan the first two weeks
Front-load structure while new habits form.
- Use a visual schedule for mornings and after school.
- Keep afternoon plans lighter the first 10 school days.
- Practice the backpack routine at night to reduce morning decisions.
Executive function challenges often flare in September. Our executive function coaching teaches planning, time management, and task initiation to reduce morning stress. Coaching available across NYC.
10) Script social starts
Uncertainty with peers fuels worry.
- Role-play three openers for recess or lunch.
- Set one specific social goal per day, like greeting a classmate or asking to join a game.
- Celebrate attempts, not perfection.
11) Watch for red flags that warrant extra support
Call your pediatrician or a therapist if you notice:
- Persistent school refusal beyond a few days.
- Daily stomachaches or headaches without a medical cause.
- Panic-level distress at drop-off.
- Sleep disruption, ongoing irritability, or signs of anxiety and depression.
- Escalating avoidance, like hiding, barricading, or refusing to leave the home.
Our team coordinates with schools and mental health professionals to build a clear plan. We provide therapy, ABA support for school routines, PCIT for younger children, and executive function coaching for students. Appointments available in Manhattan, Queens, and surrounding areas.
12) Partner with the school nurse and counselor
Make supports visible.
- Share your child’s coping card with the school nurse.
- Set a brief check-in after the first week.
- Ask about a quiet space for short regulation breaks, then plan how to return to class.
13) Keep communication simple and steady at home
- One instruction at a time.
- Specific, labeled praise for brave behavior.
- End the day with a two-minute “rose, thorn, bud” check-in to keep open communication flowing.
A steady start is possible
With preparation, collaboration, and consistent routines, most kids settle in. If your family needs extra support, we are here to help. Schedule a consultation with Manhattan Psychology Group in Manhattan, Queens, and nearby areas. Together we can make the first weeks smoother and help your child feel more in control of the school year ahead.
