Holidays can be fun and meaningful—and they can also feel overwhelming. New places, loud rooms, and long meals can trigger sensory overload for children with autism. With simple, practical tools from applied behavior analysis (ABA), you can shape a calmer holiday experience for a child with autism and the whole family. Use these scripts and routines to prep for travel, manage the dinner table, and coach success during a family gathering on Thanksgiving Day.
If you want a tailored plan, our clinicians support families across Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, and surrounding areas.
1) Before the big day: preview and practice
Visual schedules reduce uncertainty and support independence.
- Create a one-page schedule with pictures: “Car → Grandma’s → Hello → Snack → Play → Dinner table → Quiet break → Dessert → Photos → Home.”
- Walk through the schedule twice in the days before. Do a 5-minute rehearsal of greeting, sitting, and taking a break.
Script (preview):
“Thanksgiving Day plan: first car ride, then hello to two family members, then snack. If it’s too loud, we’ll take a break in the quiet room. When break is finished, we’ll come back for turkey.”
Pack a sensory kit: noise canceling headphones, fidget toys, preferred snacks, water, chewable or gum (if OK), and a small blanket. Label a quiet space ahead of time.
2) Travel: car, subway, or plane
Travel routines are predictable opportunities to encourage your child and reinforce coping skills.
Car/ride script (first–then):
“First seatbelt on, then tablet for 10 minutes.”
“First two songs with headphones, then snack.”
Airport/long ride tips (ABA shaping):
- Break waits into chunks: 5 minutes in line → sticker → 5 more minutes → short walk.
- Offer choices to maintain agency: “Headphones or hat?” “Window seat or aisle?”
Praise on purpose:
“You kept your hands to yourself in line. Awesome waiting.”
3) Arriving at the family gathering
The entrance moment sets the tone.
Greeting script options:
- Verbal: “Happy Thanksgiving, Aunt Kim.”
- Nonverbal: wave or high-five if verbal speech is hard.
- Coach a “hello + exit” plan: “Say hi, then we’ll check the quiet room.”
Coach relatives in one minute:
“Our goal is an autism friendly Thanksgiving. Please use short phrases, offer choices, and skip surprise hugs. If you see headphones or a thumbs-up card, that means we’re taking a quick break.”
4) The dinner table: short, structured, supported
Long meals can be tough for people with autism. Make the dinner table a teachable, time-limited routine.
Table routine (visual): Sit → two bites → sip → one-minute chat → sticker → break.
Script for sitting:
“First sit for two minutes, then you can play with the fidget toys under the table.”
“First two bites of preferred food, then one new food look-and-sniff.”
If refusal starts:
- Prompt, then praise: “Touch the roll.” → “You touched it; nice trying.”
- Offer a swap: “No turkey now. Choose peas or bread.”
- Plan the break: “Timer for two minutes, then we’ll come back for dessert.”
Coach extended family:
“Compliment effort, not volume eaten: ‘Nice trying a tiny bite,’ works better than ‘Clean your plate.’”
5) Managing sensory overload in real time
Crowds, clatter, and smells can overwhelm a child with autism or autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Reduce input before it spikes.
- Headphones on before the kitchen gets loud.
- Seat your child at the end of the table or at a small side table.
- Keep one predictable job (napkin helper, name-card collector) to structure engagement.
Break request script (verbal or card):
“I need a break.” → Quiet room for two minutes → Return for next step on the schedule.
Reinforce the request: “You asked for a break with your card. That keeps your body calm. Great asking.”
6) Social “micro-goals” that build success
Set small goals and celebrate wins.
- Say hello to 2–3 family members (stickers on a card).
- Share one toy or turn in a short game.
- Pose for one photo, then break.
Coach statement:
“We’re looking for three ‘yes’ moments today: one hello, one share, one picture. Each ‘yes’ earns a sticker. Three stickers = choice of the first holiday movie at home.”
7) Handling surprises, comments, and “the bid day” hiccups
Holiday plans change. If the schedule slips or a relative comments, redirect calmly.
If someone says: “Why the headphones at dinner?”
You say: “They help him stay with us at the table. It’s part of our ABA therapy plan.”
If your child bolts from the table:
- Meet them where they are.
- Short script: “Feet walking back. Two minutes, then break.”
- Praise the return immediately.
Note: If you spot “bid day” on your written schedule, correct it to “big day” together with a smile—modeling flexibility.
8) After the meal: structured play and transitions
Plan a low-demand activity after eating.
- Quiet corner with books or a simple Thanksgiving Day craft
- Short play games routine with a cousin (two turns only, then break)
- Walk outside with headphones if inside stays noisy
Exit plan script:
“Ten-minute timer. First thank our hosts, then car and favorite song.”
9) When to adjust the plan
If behaviors escalate, shrink the step size:
- Two-minute sits instead of five
- One hello instead of three
- Dessert at the side table instead of the main table
Progress over perfection. Aim for a sensory friendly day with a few shared moments, not marathon participation.
We can help you personalize the plan
Manhattan Psychology Group uses ABA therapy to tailor applied behavior analysis (ABA) routines for children with autism—from travel scripts to table plans and calm exits. We coordinate with schools and coach families for an autism friendly Thanksgiving that feels doable.
Support is available across Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, and nearby communities. Want a step-by-step plan and visual supports you can print? Reach out, and we’ll build your visual schedules, sensory kit list, and reinforcement map for a smoother family gathering this season.
